i just remembered that yesterday i bought a sympathy card for lotus because i was close to a store...
it took me at least ten minutes or more to pick a card for her. a coworker of hers has lost a loved one, and she needed a sympathy card.
"ok, so not more than 10 words!"
"basic message!"
these were my instructions.
simple, right?
ah. not quite. i stood in front of the deepest sympathies section for the longest time, and then started pulling cards out.
from both of us? oohh, i dunno. did she want to include shogun?
um, this card seems ok, but it looks like a money envelope. did they want to send a check?
damn. it was getting more and more complicated. i found myself counting the words, sizing up the giant flowers pictured on the front of the cards - is the font too gushy??
too religious
too personal
too expressive
too condescending (yes, believe it!)
sigh. i know i could've just called her, but once in a (long) while i like to be a big girl...
i can't even remember which one i ended up with, but i do remember that i settled on something plainish and hurried to the checkout in a light sweat. when i got to my car, i lit up and laughed.
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Actually, my instructions were 5 words MAX. Total, including the front and inside. Everything else is stoopid. I really just like to "My thoughts are with you.
I'll say what needs to be said in the inside. It's funny that when people lose a loved one, people are so paralyzed of talking about the deceased.
A couple yeras ago, a guy at work was telling me that his mother passed a way a few months ago and he was really missing her (her was just a couple years older than me). I asked a couple questions about how she died, then I asked what she was like and he lit up. He told me some great stories about her and we laughed about some of them. A couple weeks later when I saw him again, he said that it made his day. He really appreciated being able to talk about her, that most people just changed the subject when they learned that she died.
I think people forget that loved ones only remember the good things and want to embrace those memories.
nah!!!
my grandpa was a cranky old bastard!!
and i miss him so much.
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