melisserella

isn't it hilarious when you get so wrapped up in what you're doing

that you don't realize what you're doing?

i mopped myself into a corner in the living room.

with paul simon blaring on the radio and pot roast scents drifting through the house...

and me, in a pair of shorts two sizes too big with my hair in a lopsided bun.

ten painted toes - each a different color because i just couldn't decide.

caffeine's singing it's own tune and i can feel it. which is good.

up ahead:

• quick shower


• Costco (2 boxes of ice cream)


• Donovan's middle school for an ice cream party to celebrate the last day of school (tomorrow).

my 8 lb. 7 oz. cone-headed c-sectioned baby is officially an eighth grader tomorrow afternoon.

i might not cry.

thor was right. "graceland" is possibly one of the saddest albums. next to "still crazy after all these years"...

i LOVE this song!

"You're Kind" by Paul Simon album: Still Crazy After All These Years

brain FART!!

it's just bitching, so float on by if you're not in the mood to read someone else's miserable nagging...

i have to do a case study by the middle of next week, and i haven't done ANYTHING yet, except for adding some useful links to my favs so that i can do some research.

it needs to be a powerpoint presentation to my class and a doctor that supposedly like to grill the students with questions about ABG's and x-ray findings. i am "doing" this project with 3 other girls, one (girl #3) who is from another cohort and i have met once in passing. she seemed rather aloof and self-absorbed. she has not participated in this project at all, and had the gall to tell my other classmate that she doesn't want to do the section of the report i assigned to her.

girl #2 asked for "something easy" to read, because she "doesn't like to get up in front of a lot of people..." loved how she pulled the "my english is not very good..." thing on me.

and girl #1 has the easiest part of all - the introduction. all she has to do is tell about the patient's background (age, gender, reason for admission, etc..) and then do a synopsis on his condition, CCHS. she calls me yesterday and leaves me a message. and i quote, "hey girl. i could really use some help with my section. i'm having a hard time right now, and was wondering if you finished working on the slides..."

OMG. you gotta be shitting me...

none of these girls have families to take care of, and only one has a job. why do i get stuck with this crap?!

because i'm a knuckle head, that's why.

i hate it when i get all gripey and whiney...

Family Chasms & The Big Pha-Q...

It seems that i might have three brothers rather than two after all...

and for the most part, i am surprisingly comfortable with the way things are (or are not, one might say...) progressing.

family can be tricky. mine is all sorts of tied up with things that are sad and lonely from our shared pasts. it creates this weird nostalgia that makes us feel tied to each other in the present.

i have changed so much since i left home at seventeen - i can see why i am getting better at who i am now instead of who i was when i was eight.

today is the day that my shampooer should be coming home. polished clean and ready for use. it was promised by wednesday, but i really don't see how mom is going to be able to clean it and deliver it on the day she is leaving for japan...

what am i talking about?!? she's had it for over two months!

it should be spotless by now...

It's when i'm done...

it's when the house is polished and immaculate from every last corner turned inside out...

it's when the most desparately longed-for promises come bursting forth, tempting the heart, taunting the mind...

it's when the call finally comes that delivers the return of something taken, a committment never to do it again...

it's when what i've asked for, begged for, ached for is no longer what i want...

sorry as i might be, empathic as i might ever feel,

it's when i'm done...

listening to: "three swept" artist: COCTEAU TWINS
with all their doom and gloom in incoherent jabberwocky, i somehow find this song happy.

i thought it was funny...

apparently my 12.5 yr old doesn't think i'm very funny in the mornings when i drop him off at his middle school...

every once in a while i roll down the windows and holler at him in a very thick country accent, "now you be a good boy at school today, baby, ya' hear?! I LOVE YOU!!"

or something like that. he always smiles or cracks up and then speedwalks to the gate, lest someone figure out that that weird-ass lady is his mother.

today he said, "mom. please stop doing that... it's annoying..."

still in my country accent, i replied, "what?! you don' like it when i talk like this? you always laugh!"

to which he said, "no. it's annoying..."

to which i said, "aw, you DID NOT just call me annoying! don't MAKE me get out of this car!!"

he started giggling and ran to school, trying not to look at me as he hurried along. i'm sure it's because he doesn't want to bring on anymore attention from me.

and while some people think that i'm super pollyana about my kids and that i'm going to never let my kids leave the house, i have to say...

while i miss my little one very much, it's good to see him growing up...

listening to: "in the waiting line" artist: zero 7