and away they grow...

this morning as i dropped them off at school, i watched leily struggling to put on her backpack. she was adorable. i sighed deeply and quietly as i watched my "big girl" and realized that she has already started forgetting to kiss me goodbye - she is (too) often so excited to get onto the playground...

as if reading my mind and then confirming my thoughts, my baby girl says with her sweet little voice and toofless lisp,

"mama. can you pick me up as late as you can from my after school program? i want to have more time to play."

i don't know about her, but I heard my heart crack...

and then it was done. before either of us knew it, i was sweeping her up and insisting she stay home with me today. we had SOOO much cuddling to do...

giggling, "but mama, i CAN'T!!"

can't say i didn't try.

Stitch says we have the same smile. and eyes. and walk. and stubborn ways. i find this last bit amusing because when i butt heads with my daughter, she reminds me of him...

at open house, her new 3rd grade teacher, ms. H, was commenting on how much Day and i are similar. she said day's 2nd gr. teacher felt that way too.

i snapped, "just don't say that we walk the same..."

ms. H started laughing, "her other teacher told me that you two DO walk the same!"

i hope i don't swing my rump like that girl.

It was a little odd, sitting on a rock and watching my kids play in a river that i have been swimming since i was about 10. so much has happened in my life since then and yet the paths to the river haven't noticebly changed at all.

my grandfather dying almost two yrs ago has been very hard for me in a quiet way. there was something uplifting about the way he thought i was perfect. i knew it wasn't true, but didn't have the heart to tell him.

besides, i think he might've suspected it anyway...

applying at The Redundant Department of Redundancy

sigh.

i received my (CRT) license in the mail yesterday. i have been going nuts waiting for this to come. i can (finally) look for a job now.

i really want to apply at Kaiser - they have one of best pay scales and health plans - i'm the one who pays for the kids' health care, and they have been with kaiser for years. wouldn't it be nice if i could get it for free?

anyhow. i called the respiratory department this morning, and a man picked up the phone. the conversation kinda went like this:

me: "hello. can i please speak with the manager of the resp. dept, please?"

him: "she's not in right now - she's in a meeting. is there something i can help you with?"

me: "yes. my name is melissa and i'm a certified crt and would like to come in and drop off my resume and an application.."

this is where i smacked my forehead. duh, girl. a CRT is a Certified Respiratory Therapist. i just basically said, "i'm a certified certified respiratory therapist..."

ugh. i am the stumbler of stumbling. gimme a state exam over an interview any day..

the test junkie

i passed my RRT last thursday!

the test was very hard, and i passed one of the sections with a 66%, which was the minimum passing score for that section. i tried to post a picture of my score report, but it wasn't very legible.

there were 11 simulations, with 4 hours to complete them all. one wasn't scored, i double-crossed my eyes hoping it was the one i screwed up the most...

i took good care of:

• the 20 month old in respiratory distress
• the tree surgeon who sustained a neck injury
• the adult male who was going to undergo coronary artery surgery
• my patients during my critical care rounds

so-so care of:

• the male infant who received surfactant therapy
• the adult female with chest pain

and you really don't want to be under my care if you're:

• an adult male with end-stage COPD
• a female who had a diving accident
• an adult male complaining of shortness of breath
• a female patient who fractured her hip.

the neonates/pediatric test is next - i was excited to see a per-diem job offered at mary birch hospital today. they want RT's with neonatal certification. it would be nice to hold little babies again...