i'm... too sexy for my self...

i had an apt this morning with a trainer at my gym. she is very nice with a bit of a drawl and said that i can come in anytime and get my (fat) measurements... so i said fine and after my workout, we met in an office at 7 am. she takes my weight at first and was very surprised that the scale said 168 lbs. yep. there... i said.. 168. with my shoes, socks, undies, shorts, boulder gear and t-shirt i am a whopping 168.

"would you write a different number if i told you that at home it's 163??" i pleaded. nope. 168. she wouldn't even compromise and put 165, which i think is TOTALLY fair, btw..

the funny thing about this is that 3 people in the past month have told me that i don't LOOK 168..

great, i look thinner than i actually am... i guess i should be excited, but for some reason, i'm not.

the cool thing is that my fat-ness is at 33% of my body, which means that i am only 2% into the "unhealthy" zone. julie the trainer says that 2% should be easy to lose. which is why earlier this year i was at the exact same weight, with the same body fat ratio.

with smoking (hopefully) kicked, i think i am ready to move forward and start going to the cycling (i prefer to call them psychoing) sessions. 60 min of crazy people madly pedaling themselves to nowhere. in a group to lose 700 calories.

it's on!

the blue skies

it's been a peculiar week..

i missed class on monday and had a 6 hr talk with the X.. we opened up about a lot of things we have been hesitant to share in the past, and it was nice to communicate with him. while i still think that i made the best decision for myself, there was a part of me that missed being able to talk openly with him. i hope this lasts - sometimes i still want to hog-tie him and ship him off to china...

i have about 6 months of school left and i can't wait to get out of the "drama club"... my school is like a friggin' soap opera with all the teachers screwing the students, and the students screwing the students, and cheating and fights over non assigned seating stealing. ugh, this weekend i'm going to go to home depot and buy some earplugs. we are without a teacher so often and it drives me buggy to have to listen to everyone talking LOUDLY and i can't hear myself think.

i have been smoke free for over 3 weeks now, (except for monday with mr. X- i had 4 that day...) and it has been tough on my gravitational pull towards the earth. i am going back to the gym fairly regularly and it is nice. i pulled a neck muscle, over-worked my forearms to the point that i couldn't extend my arms for about 4 days, and somehow pinched a nerve for a little bit in my hip area. it is a wonderful reminder of how i am getting old(er) and need to train my body so that i can chase my grandchildren one of these days...

i was wondering the other day -

why do people tilt their heads to their right when they kiss? is it because most people are right-handed? do left handed people feel awkward when they kiss "to the right"? perhaps it has something to do with our environment being mostly right-handed, i.e. driving on the right side of the road, putting our names on the top right corner of our papers, signing in the bottom right corner of our checks... huh. if that's true, does it imply that people in england kiss to the left?

i am longing for my ipod, but am resolved to wait until i am working and "rolling in the dough" before i purchase another one. this time i think i will opt for the black one, because my last white one was looking a wee bit dirty. in the mean time, i am enjoying burning music and importing it into my itunes library. my old cds that are originals i have been donating to the public library, and it is a nice feeling to be able to give, at no cost to myself other than a bit of my time.

i was hoping to go to magic mountain tomorrow with a friend, but it was cancelled because he developed a mean case of diarrhea (just kidding). plans have been postponed to january, i hope it isn't raining.

i visited with a friend whom i have not seen for some time. she looks good and i was the lucky recipient of an amazing massage.

the baby goats are doing well, and #4 has her first loose tooth. it's only a little wiggly and probably won't come out for months... and yet she still refuses to let me pull it out with some pliers. hee, hee.. me and they brood joked about the time #2 had a really loose tooth. we were at k-mart and he went on and on about how it was bothering him - the jagged edges of the root of the tooth were poking his gums. it was way overdue of a good yank. daniel wouldn't let me touch it, so i instructed him to wiggle it himself so he could see how ready to come out this tooth was. when he got a grip on it, i tapped his elbow and he popped his tooth out on his own. he was soooo happy for all of one second until he realized i made it come out, then he yelled, "mom!!"

sigh, i would shrink him down to three again if i could.