i moved into the new house and less than 2 weeks into the move, my sis calls me and says she needs a place to stay. i was very grateful of stitch's offer for her to move into his place, since he's been practically living with me anyway for the past several months.
my rotation at encinitas is over, and i was told by the supervisor to apply there when i get licensed... i really liked it there - the only drawback is that it's about a 40 - 90 min drive each way, depending on traffic...
this month i'm at a children's hospital and it is very very slow after 10.30 pm. the rotation is supposed to be from 7 pm to 7 am, but we get out early. thank goodness..
i have been writing in my moleskeine more frequently and i have been in an odd headspace lately (when am i not??) with regards to life. maybe i'm just pms-ing...
it seems like when things get crazy, i find myself constantly pondering where i am, and where i want to be. try as i might, i can't seem to fine tune my thoughts to where i feel heart and mind are in good balance. it's frustrating sometimes. maybe that's what life is about... walkin' that line...
i am struggling with an overwhelming desire to cut my mom off from all interactions with me for a while. she has pushed every one of my psycho buttons thrice. why do family members think that they have some sort of "special privelege" to use and abuse other family members? i think that the fact that we are family means that we have to be especially caring of each other, and protect each other. mom reminds me of a kid who needs constant confirmation of the importance of her existence.
my favorite line of the month is, "it's my turn to screw up everybody else's life today!!"
frigga fragga... grrr... and breathe in, two, three, four... and out, two, three, four...
career choice of the month: demolition construction crew leader. i've discovered i have a passion for (literally) tearing things down. i think that, in conjunction with my love for core sciences, i'd make one kick-ass demolition foreman... do they make hard hats in pink?
highs:
- the most hilariously distinctive laughter resounding through the theater during "spiderman 3"... spidey gets his groove on as mr. slick rick, and i said, "oh! that's so YOU!!!" stitch knows it's true - he's got the strut for sure...
- taking the boys to a movie and letting them go play video games by themselves. i think that someday (probably 30 years from now...) i'll be able to cut the umbilical on them...
- help from wonderful friends during moving times.
- clam chowder and a nap at the table with stitch and ronin...
- the BOMB fried rice. stitch makes a delicious fried rice. the only thing i don't like is that he fries the chili pepper and habanero powder before he mixes in the rice, and the peppers smoke up the kitchen, which makes us cough, which makes us laugh, which makes us cough, which makes us laugh...
- tetris late at night. stitch always acts like he's gonna kick my ass, and i am always moved by the whole "sacrificial lamb" thing. he knows he's dead meat, but he plays with me anyway. i think he's sweet on me...
- having 2 refrigerators. oh, the things we'll keep stored in there! let's see... beer. bread. cheese. cookie dough. ice cream. all the 5 food groups!
- kahlua and ice cream... my new addiction. i am now motivated to strictly diet and exercise just so i can eat tons of soupy, taste bud tantalizing ice cream with kahlua. sigh. i confess, i ate 2 bowls for breakfast last week. it's not considered alcoholism if you drink it with food, right?
- organizing closets. i aspire to be have a closet as well organized and practical as lotus'. i think i'll scrape and retexture the ceiling first... i hate popcorn ceilings.
- i had a hard time with my 12 yr old on sunday. he had the gall to tell me that i'm mean. oh boy, it got ugly. i hate it when i get so upset i develop a facial tick and start stuttering...
- the messiest house.. it's getting there. just seems like a black hole of laundry and food and papers that need to be sorted, and toys everywhere.
- babies and babies that i want to take home. last night i took care of the sweetest little 7 mo. old whose mother is incarcerated and father absent. she is very sick and cps is involved. i nasotracheal (n/t) suctioned her (basically tube up nose, down back of throat, and into lungs - yeah, it sucks...), and then quickly soothed and fed her. putting her to sleep took me back to mommy days and i was loathe to put her down and get back to work...
my favorite line: "first time i kissed you i lost my legs..."
