Never Thought We'd Make It...

Never thought we'd be here, in this space.
today you said to me, "girl, i can't believe we did it."

"it's not the way either of us hoped it'd be. not the way we wished it could've been..."

but i see you. in your horrible space.

and yet i see growth. the littlest bit. and i felt hope. for all of us.

sitting on the porch, swinging in the yellow-orange light of the setting sun, i thought that you looked a little different.

still sad, still hurt, but a little more clear about where you've been, where you're going. where your hurts have come from. and that was a good thing.

someone i love said to me once, "hold on, girl, hold on..."

and from that thought, that encouragement, i pulled strength. and now i hope to give some to you, to get you through these times.

these times of maddening self-doubt. insecurity. fear of losing the ties with our hearts. fear of being alone and standing up for ourselves. afraid to make it, afraid we won't.

realizing we are on different paths is ok. we need to do what's best for ourselves and can still be connected.

you said you used to just sit and worry about me. and you were scared for me. sometimes i feel the same for you.

it'll all be ok baby... hold on girl, hold on...

and fuck it, worst case scenario, we'll just move in together and be lesbos! i'll be the guy if you insist, as long as i get to be on the bottom once in a while...

love