T.G. for 4 day weekends...

and i think i've earned it... i am tired...

gotta love it when i groan about being up at such an hour and he reminds me of many a night when he was up without a single protest and had to work the next day...

or two...

perhaps even three...

and the highs are still high. and the lows are still low. and there is never enough time for anything in this life, especially for figuring out what there is time for, so i find myself squeezing in kid time boyfriend time and work time (not necessarily in that order...) into a very narrow funnel, for sanity's sake.

which makes for an oddly happy life.

we took the munchkins to balboa park last saturday. on sunday we went back with the dogs to the dog park. i was so grouchy from working the night before i barked at everyone over a simple mistake and insisted we go home. home we went in total silence. pulling into the driveway rey said simply, "if you want to stay home, that's fine, but i'm taking the kids back to the park."

i kept my insuppressible smile to myself (it would have been out of character to do otherwise), grumbled something incoherent and fell asleep for the rest of the ride back to balboa park. D1 was the only one who had the nerve to thank him.



getting them to all smile nicely at the same time is a major endeavor, so i've managed to able to settle for 3/4.


ok. maybe 1/2...


i hope they remember that i've always tried to be what i should be...












sometimes i wonder if he has any idea
how much she loves him...

















































i cracked my first set of ribs yesterday and didn't pass out (that's a good thing, right? did you know that the people taking care of you & your loved ones are human?). in fact, i broke a sweat doing compressions on a poor pt. who should've had their code status more well thought out - there was too much confusion as to whether or not do a partial code, chem code, or just bag and no compressions. my best advice to those out there is to think about what it would take for them (or you) to not want to be resuscitated and be freakin CLEAR about your code status before you are in one...

oh, and think twice about going to the second floor to drop off one's pager to another RT for a lunch break, because that's exactly when a code will happen on that floor and an hour later you'll be glassy-eyed and starving and wondering what the hell just happened...

today was such a nice day with the three youngest - sea world, a park for lunch, and grocery shopping for dinner (chicken alfredo with asparagus and dill)...

i kinda felt like a stay at home mom...

p.s. i posted rest of pics on my flickr acct... the link's on the right.

today i'm grateful for

the loneliness that subsides when words of similar longing make life a little more bearable after all...

"and you can't ask for much more than that, can you sir?" i softly asked as i gently pulled a mask over his face. turned the flow to 8 instead of 10 liters to draw out his treatment - he was a bit short of breath. then i smoothed the wisps of hair from his 87 yr old forehead and massaged the creases between his anxious brows.

"my dear, you have warmed the cockles of my heart... do you know what this means?" he was already beginning to drift off.

we talked about human nature and what made his life so rich. he is ready to die...

i always have mixed feelings when i make them cry... even if it is with a smile.

next door was the man who told me the hilarious joke about the two blonds that walked into a building and the married couple from tennesee who divorced in california...

and around the corner from them was sweet miss frail.

"can i tell you? how happy i am that you found me? because i was lost. out there..." she said with glazed eyes. "and now you have found me." for whom i got yelled at by a doctor for insisting that she get respiratory treatments for her severe stridor. a cardiologist who was more concerned about her heart problems than her pulmonary problems. he barks at me to find her chart because he wrote orders for resp treatment and why haven't i given them yet? turns out he didn't write them, and her chart was at his desk, and when the nurse finally uncovers it because it was nowhere else, lo and behold! there's an order that he wrote AFTER i freakin told him to write one and he blew me off saying he already did. dickhead. i should've kicked the leg of his chair when he was dozing off at his desk in the nurses station. yeah. that would've felt great. she suffered through the night and i should've done more. ugh.

my charge chuckled when i told him i'm gonna to lose my job over fighting with a doc one of these days...

stitch mumbled, "oh my gosh, we are so alike..." and told me about a time when he refused to suction a patient who didn't need it...

i wonder if he went into the med room and stuck his tongue out at the doc and flipped him off too...

listening to: "i'd die without you" artist: P.M. Dawn, The Bliss Album
it makes me happy sad, which is so fitting this week...

Oh No!!... What Would A.B. Do??

i'm finally getting to a place where i don't dread going to work. getting a little better at my time management, and i am grateful for stitch's input, as well as helpful pointers from coworkers. i was called off from work tonight (yay!) because the census is low. i decided to call my second job to see if they need me to come in tomorrow. gonna to go in for a day shift, which is nice because i'll actually get to see the family in the evening.

i guess it's fair to assume that everyone knows that relationships are difficult. balance between what i want/need and what he wants/needs can be near impossible at times. i think i have found the key to our relationship woes...

i am going to somehow befriend alton brown and ask him to be our relationship advisor (of course, he'll be on my side...). stitch bought 2 of alton brown's cookbooks from costco, and he has been reading them for the past couple months. i know this not because i pay good attention to what mr. man is reading in the bathroom or bedroom, but because i began to notice that when i would cook or talk about what i'm going to cook, he would start making comments about how to cut this properly or how to steam that more efficiently.

at first i thought it was cute. (note: i said WAS...) "awww! how cute! he wants to be a chef when he grows up!"

then things started to go bad...

"alton brown says that you should sift the flour before you mix blah blah blah..."

ok. i get out the sifter...

"in a food processor. blah blah better aeration blah blah lighter flakier blah blah..."

excuuuuse me??

and then there were the mumblings...

"oooohhh. so that's why my cookies didn't blah blah blah..."

"what babe? did you say something to me?"

"no. i'm just talking to (alton brown) myself... alton brown says here the reason why my cookies were blah blah blah is because i blah blah blah..."

i was already walking down the hallway, rolling my eyes. he didn't even notice that i had exited the room...

i decided the books were going to be "lost" (actually sent to paper heaven, a.k.a. the recycling plant) when stitch started giggling to himself. i guess the side notes are rather amusing...

then yesterday, unbeknownst to my dear, things came to a head. he was making some spicy peanut butter cookies and i offered to help. i washed dishes and measured ingredients. the butter needed to be at room temp. i put the frozen butter on the window sill and he had (the nerve) to say, "wow. where did you learn to do this? this is what alton says to do..."

oh. 'scuse me. i didn't realize that you two were on a first name only basis.

i said, "gee, babe. i've only been cooking since i was about five you know..."

i think he got the hint when he would asked me for advice on when to turn the cookies or how to measure the this and that when i snapped, "i don't know! ask alton brown! go look it up!! what would he do?!"

to which he snickered and left the kitchen for the computer...

to see what A.B. would do.

Stuck In The Middle With You

• figuring out where (or dare i say, who...) that weird 'lindberger cheese smell" is coming from...
• take two's
• the lonely "mine's" that you've made "our's"
• 52 mile trips to bring me my badge - and lunch money...
• tossing me your car keys when i can't find mine - after about a hundred times of reminding me to put them in the designated key spot...
• rolling back crack maneuvers
• softball gloves and magically appearing tupperware.
• fresh farts to replace stale farts (thank you very much)
• more like a stepdad than a babysitter

is it really like opening pandora's box?

i was thinking more like being blindfolded on the wildest roller coaster ever...

happy valentine's baby

a billion dollar patent, five star tramp stamps, and the buttering flutterbies

the other night was crazy at work. i was the therapist for two floors and it was pretty busy. around 3 am the 6th floor received a new pt. i was to give him one breathing treatment stat and then that was it. he apparently was a dr, so i was looking forward to interacting with him. (i think it's that whole comradery thing)

boy. was i wrong! he was moody and hostile, and insisted that there was nothing wrong with his breathing, so why the breathing treatment? i said that since it was only one, it was most likely prophylactic. he had just been in the ER, and some doctors prescribe a one time breathing treatment, esp. if the pt has been admitted for SOB (shortness of breath). i then (very nicely) said, "dr pt, if you want to refuse this treatment, that is fine and you have every right to do so. i will chart it as a refusal, but you are welcome to request the treatment at any time you should change your mind." (seriously. i was smiling pleasantly, figuring he'd had a rough night and all.)

he then demands to know what doctor prescribed this treatment, to which i said the dr in the ER that he saw (DUH!) and THEN he insists that i give his breathing treatment to the guy in the other bed who was coughing. he says, "in my medical opinion he is not doing so well..."

this totally threw me off, because really, he should know better, which i was sure he did, which meant that he was officially starting shit with me, which was not cool. i then scoffed/laughed and said, "are you serious?" (i kinda tilted my head to one side and looked at him sideways with one eyebrow raised... it's my "get outta town, you dumb ass" look... unfortunately for him, i am more prone to using it when i'm tired and not in the mood for too much bologna. oh yeah. you know the kids and stitch know it well, hee hee.)

dr pt waves his hand at me dismissively and says, "i need to go to the bathroom." i tell him i'll call the CNA, who will come and help him. usually i help the pts myself, because it just makes everybody's life easier that way, i think. but in this case, i was not feeling like being close to dr doofus.

i return to the nurses station and tell his nurse, "are you sure that guy's a dr? if so, he doesn't seems like a very competent one. maybe he's just a vet or something... she says she doesn't know what kind of doc he is, and then her and another nurse egg me into finding out. not one to turn down a dare, (i ain't no chicken! and yes, i have (metaphorically) had my tongue stuck on the flagpole many a time...) i proceeded back to his rm.

back in the room, i assisted dr to the bathroom and casually asked him about his licensing. family practice, go figure. i noticed he had a "peculiar but familiar" scent about him while i was helping him. i brought it up with the other nurses. we discovered rather interesting observations: we all agreed that pts with either chronic renal or liver failure tended to have this scent about them. and then, eureka! i said that it would be cool if i could train a dog to detect that scent before it was obvious to humans. they thought i was funny and laughed at my genius idea. i made it very clear that i will rub it in both of their faces when i am a billionaire. one of them said, "that's fine, as long as you kick some down..." we shall see about that.

**********************

the nurse educator, another RN, and myself got into a conversation about where to get one's first tattoo. i was saying that my first one will most likely be one my left shoulder, at the highest point. i then complained that stitch was saying that he thinks the "tramp stamp" spots are pretty hot on chicks. the mentor said, "why not? you could get one of those stars on your low back like all the other girls..." ("A" for originality, huh?) to which i exclaimed, "puhlease! those things are like ratings!" we were cracking up. rob, the other RN, says he's gonna tell the next girl he sees with a star tattoo that she should get at least 3 more star tats, because he's she's too hot to be a 1 star rating...
i wonder which side of his face will get slapped...

**********************

and in family news, the kids are well and back in school. this morning st about 515 am stitch said Day is WAY to chipper in the mornings (i agree). she just climbs into bed with us and is all smiles and "good mornings!". just soooo sweet. i think it's the highest part of her day, and i have never seen anybody so pleasant and bright in the morning. i wish she could rub some off on her little sis, who groans and scowls until she HAS to get up... i hope she never grows out of it.

we had some talks about things that left me nervous yet excited, scared and now pensive. i knew when i left my ex that '07 and '08 were going to be tough, but i never expected some of the things that are in my life now. i feel like i am standing at the event horizon of some vast black hole, and i cannot see what is inside, and i think that if i only had the courage let myself go, i could fall in and be happy and there won't necessarily be a white or picketed fence, but i just might find that somethin somethin i've been wanting.

the only thing that sucks is that i have no freaking parachute or lifeline, i have to fall in backwards, and once i dropped a rock into that black hole, and still haven't heard it hit the bottom...

Oh Yeah..................

Merry Christmas. i got a couple of unexpected (but nonetheless wonderful...) merry christmas's this morning. really brightened my day.

As You Wish...

i loved that scene, from "the princess bride". wesley finally catches up to the princess buttercup, and accuses her of throwing away "TRUE LOVE" by not waiting for him to return to her. she sends him rolling down a hill, screaming. "and for all i care, you can die!"

"aaaaaaassssssss yyyyyyooooooouuuuu wwwwiiiiiiiissssssshhhh!!!!!!" was his reply.

and so buttercup threw herself after her love...

it was too damn cute, yes?

thursday night my star pt rocked back and forth between a CPAP machine and a BiPAP ventilator. it was heartbreaking. mrs. sleeps in the room.

in the middle of the night, he begged her to let him die. she said from the other bed, "but i love you! you have to get better!" i felt like i was an extra in a terribly depressing movie. where was the camera crew? would they get the right angle on my trembling hands and quivering lip (it was rather slight, you might not notice it...)

they exchanged i love you's and i remember looking at the clock, wondering what my heart rate was - anything to detach from that moment. i felt a bit lightheaded. 125 perhaps? at least it wasn't juct me - one nurse had to step out into the hallway to have a mini-breakdown.

the two nurses begged me to give a breathing treatment, even if it was saline. i did what i could - i don't think band aids help dying people very much; perhaps just a bit of peace for the mind?

heavy hearted, i went back to work last night. it was christmas eve. i also work tonight. i get to only see my kids for a few hours today, and stitch works through wednesday. my assignment included my previous pt.

chin up, i went to the room. he is on continuous bipap now, and it looks like it'll be this week. mrs. asked me ever so kindly last night to pretty please with a cherry on top, could i get mr. husband through christmas?

what do you say to that?

what the hell else?

"i'll do everything i can mam."

i spent the entire evening hovering that section of the floor. the alarms sang their own ear piercing tunes.

and, i am so glad to say, i was there to silence them and make adjustments as needed.

she wished me a very merry christmas. i smiled, but didn't feel very merry this mornin'.

i thought on the way home. what would it be like to have someone love me so much he slept in my hospital room every night and was there with me when it was time for me to die?

would he still kiss me? even if my breath was bad?

am i so selfish that i can accept the possibility of someone aching that way? if he loved me that much, wouldn't it be fair to say that he'd also hurt that much?

off to dreamland before the munchkins get here... let's cross our eyes he makes it through tonight. i don't have a lot of leeway - he's a DNR. however, the nurses at my hospital are incredible - they go girl... i think they got a bit o' magic in 'em sometimes...

here comes the sun

and i'd like to say it's all right, but we never know, do we?

and isn't that one of those things we love-to-hate-to-love about life?

i went to a job interview today. i scheduled the interview for this morning at 9 am. i checked my calendar and saw that i was working monday. so that means tuesday morning i'll be free, right?

DUH!!

monday NIGHT i worked (last night) and so right after work (730 am) i went home, changed, and then went to the interview. this position is for per diem (on call, basically) and i can bring in some extra money every month so that i'm not scraping by (or borrowing (ugh. it makes me cringe.)). i'm looking forward to the additional experience. the hospital i currently work at does not care for neonates or pediatrics (they get shipped to children's hospital). however, the new place i'm applying at does have a pediatric and neonates floors. i'm really excited.

now i just need to make sure i get sleep...

behind this closed door...

is an anticipated call that never came,

a dreaded one that came too early,

an unexpected one that brought a smile...

is a fear i'm afraid to uncover,

a secret i cannot share,

a truth i know i have to face...

is a bottle of beer i hope to win,

a shift i push to be over with,

three hours that inevitably are wasted on cheap wine...

if i had a nickel. for every
tear i've shed
time i've rolled my eyes
sigh i've expelled
shit-list i've been on

for just this year alone,

i think we'd all be filthy rich, because i like to share the wealth.

Trolley Tripping, Sunday Football & the Near-Death Experience

on saturday the six of us (ok, it was actually the five of us - stitch was out-voted unanimously...) decided to go on the trolley for an adventure. i have always wanted to do this, and was re-inspired by a post from hotfudge. stitch almost didn't make the trip - he wasn't feeling very good (i think he just needed some fresh air - i get like that too.). thank goodness for leily's "magic water" that miraculously got him out of bed and motivated to go...

we decided to go north towards seaport village, to see what we could see.

and what did we see?

Daniel helping stitch buy tickets...

three little rascals waiting for the trolley ever so patiently...

my baby boy daniel...
seaport village: these are carriage rides that take you through the downtown area. nice, if you don't mind the smell of the manure collecting behind the horse...
there were free activities for visitors to play. stitch and daniel played lawn chess.

the girls were jumping over the captured chess pieces and practicing cartwheels. leily fell out of a tree she climbed and plopped down rather hard on her butt... the little trooper walked it off, and with a bit of tlc was able get back up.


on sunday morning i was almost killed in my very own garage. i went to the upright freezer we keep in there and opened the door. i was showered with mini candy bars that fell out of an open bag. the bag was carelessly (or purposely one might suspect...) left on top of the freezer. this should never have been the case, since this candy is SPECIFICALLY for halloween. i marched into the house and called everyone together for an emergency family meeting.

"i was almost killed just now by a bunch of candy falling on top of me in the garage!" i exclaimed, "does anyone have any idea who did this horrible and careless thing?!"

stitch started mumbling something and made his way for the back of the couch, averting eye contact.

"i'm sorry, babe. did you say something? i can't hear you..."

everyone was giggling because they all knew he was the culprit - he can be easily (and often) caught snacking on a snickers or almond joy...

i continued, "now i know it wasn't leily or day, they are too short to reach the top of the freezer... that leaves one of the boys! i know it wasn't Rey because he is ALWAYS emphasizing the importance of safety. so who was it, boys? which one of you two did this?"

from the back of the room, "um... i think that maybe i might've um left the candy out umm..."

"aha! you DID do it.. what shall his punishment be?"

i asked daniel for his input for stitch's punishment because daniel was just in trouble for not being safe. he was constantly running around even after being scolded the day before when we were waiting for the trolley. once i had palpitations he scared me so bad...

daniel said, "no football for the rest of the day!"

HA HA. i wish i had a picture of the look of shock and then despair on stitch's face...

i gotta give him credit - he stuck to it. and every time he started grumbling or tried to protest it, i reminded him that i was almost killed, and that he was actually getting off easy...

not much better...

I don't think i like this site...

celeb look-a-like.

oohhh. this is bad. i should redo this sans glasses.

the home stretch

hoping i'm not jinxing myself by coming out with this...

I got a job!!!

i received a call last night from the dept. manager and he said they would like to offer me a full time night position...

of course i said yes! i will hopefully start working in about a week or so. the hospital just needs to do a background check (hopefully not too many skeletons fall out... i'm so glad i got that streaking violation reduced to a misdemeanor...) and i have to pass a physical. a friend of mine that i just spoke to works there and said that it's just a basic physical, no x-rays or ct scans. too bad. i was hoping for full blown body invasion...

i have a whole new energy - i want to get the house as clean as possible and maybe even prepare a couple meals and freeze them so that i don't have to cook too much or end up doing take-out.

i'm going to do a lot of misc. paperwork tonight and shampoo the carpet (it seriously needs it). take the XL blankets to the laundry mat, and hopefully tomorrow or thursday get this damn overgrown yard finally done.

i love coffee and coffee loves me
sometimes i even drink a little tea.
chai or green, it does not matter,
just easy on the milk, it'll make me fatter.
getting things done feels so very good,
for a couple months now i've been under a hood...

wondering where some things are going, and remembering that for the past couple years i've known this year was going to be the hardest of them all...

just a couple more months, baby. i'll get there...

The Long Day That Is Not Over Yet

i broke my mother's heart today.

it wasn't the easiest thing for me to do and yet, i wasn't even trying.

i had a talk with her about the way she interacts with the kids, and how she needs to begin doing things my way, or she can not see them. it was a long and difficult talk.

once she tried to sucker me into a debate - i guess it was her way of calling me into the boxing ring to duke it out... the thing about "talking things out" is that when i am truly truly done with something or someone, i will not let myself be engaged in anymore conversation other than the initial subject. when she realized this, she backed down. and i actually felt bad for her. but it had to be done. there is too much drama in my life as it is, and i am trying very hard to keep my children out of it as much as i possibly can. as if problems with voldemort and my sister aren't enough, i don't need my mother whispering more crap into their ears. true or not, it is still adult matters, and as far as i am concerned, crap that my kids shouldn't be exposed to. they got enough goin on as is...

and in other news, i went to an interview this morning. my first so far. i honestly don't know if they liked me or not. i'm just glad i didn't ralph on anyone. that includes myself.

quite possibly the most intense hour of my day so far. the hour with my mother was probably the most tiring and depressing...

so far...

over the river times ten

a good friend of mine has a loved one in prison. on saturday stitch and i drove her out to Blythe, Ca for visiting hours. we had nothing but free time from 8 am to 3 pm. at a nearby liquor store, i talked with a man who suggested driving through quartzsite, az, which was just up the way.

this sign was about the most interesting thing in quartzsite... and the very nice english couple we met in an AM/PM. they were headed out to tombstone for a wedding. they were kind enough to invite us along, if i cleaned out their car first...

this is Parker Dam. here is stitch playing vanna white. it was pretty hot out. the single public bathroom didn't have a lock on the door. the man monitoring the dam must've thought we were a couple of nut cases, we were goofing off so much...

there are turn-outs all along the winding mountain roads that overlook the river. we pulled off on one and decided to go hiking. finally made it to the top of a mini-mountain and had a rock throwing contest. stitch was sitting to my right, so i couldn't get a full rotation as i threw... otherwise, i would've totally wasted his butt!!! (um, yeah, that's it...)

by the end of our adventure, we had crossed the colorado river ten times, drove through lake havesue, and ate a bunch of junk food (mostly diet soda and sun chips. and some jack in the box). i have two new pretty rocks.

we also did a lot of talking. about the kids, about taking more trips, and about me starting work (hopefully) soon. there were times that i was giddy and optimistic about life and love, and times when i was tired and found myself brooding on things that have been weighing heavily on me lately.

one of these particular times i fell alseep. that's when stitch's inner photographer emerged and decided to be a bit creative with the props...

i'm so gonna get his ass back...

AND he friggin' kept a poker face for the rest of the trip until later on at home i went through the camera...

juggling with dilemas is like wading through mud for me. i just want someone to sedate me and wake me when the toughest part is over. what a brat, huh? there is so much you learn about another person if you just take the time to listen and pay attention.

then it gets really scary. then the other person starts figuring you out, too.

i feel so naked...

and away they grow...

this morning as i dropped them off at school, i watched leily struggling to put on her backpack. she was adorable. i sighed deeply and quietly as i watched my "big girl" and realized that she has already started forgetting to kiss me goodbye - she is (too) often so excited to get onto the playground...

as if reading my mind and then confirming my thoughts, my baby girl says with her sweet little voice and toofless lisp,

"mama. can you pick me up as late as you can from my after school program? i want to have more time to play."

i don't know about her, but I heard my heart crack...

and then it was done. before either of us knew it, i was sweeping her up and insisting she stay home with me today. we had SOOO much cuddling to do...

giggling, "but mama, i CAN'T!!"

can't say i didn't try.

Stitch says we have the same smile. and eyes. and walk. and stubborn ways. i find this last bit amusing because when i butt heads with my daughter, she reminds me of him...

at open house, her new 3rd grade teacher, ms. H, was commenting on how much Day and i are similar. she said day's 2nd gr. teacher felt that way too.

i snapped, "just don't say that we walk the same..."

ms. H started laughing, "her other teacher told me that you two DO walk the same!"

i hope i don't swing my rump like that girl.

It was a little odd, sitting on a rock and watching my kids play in a river that i have been swimming since i was about 10. so much has happened in my life since then and yet the paths to the river haven't noticebly changed at all.

my grandfather dying almost two yrs ago has been very hard for me in a quiet way. there was something uplifting about the way he thought i was perfect. i knew it wasn't true, but didn't have the heart to tell him.

besides, i think he might've suspected it anyway...

applying at The Redundant Department of Redundancy

sigh.

i received my (CRT) license in the mail yesterday. i have been going nuts waiting for this to come. i can (finally) look for a job now.

i really want to apply at Kaiser - they have one of best pay scales and health plans - i'm the one who pays for the kids' health care, and they have been with kaiser for years. wouldn't it be nice if i could get it for free?

anyhow. i called the respiratory department this morning, and a man picked up the phone. the conversation kinda went like this:

me: "hello. can i please speak with the manager of the resp. dept, please?"

him: "she's not in right now - she's in a meeting. is there something i can help you with?"

me: "yes. my name is melissa and i'm a certified crt and would like to come in and drop off my resume and an application.."

this is where i smacked my forehead. duh, girl. a CRT is a Certified Respiratory Therapist. i just basically said, "i'm a certified certified respiratory therapist..."

ugh. i am the stumbler of stumbling. gimme a state exam over an interview any day..

the test junkie

i passed my RRT last thursday!

the test was very hard, and i passed one of the sections with a 66%, which was the minimum passing score for that section. i tried to post a picture of my score report, but it wasn't very legible.

there were 11 simulations, with 4 hours to complete them all. one wasn't scored, i double-crossed my eyes hoping it was the one i screwed up the most...

i took good care of:

• the 20 month old in respiratory distress
• the tree surgeon who sustained a neck injury
• the adult male who was going to undergo coronary artery surgery
• my patients during my critical care rounds

so-so care of:

• the male infant who received surfactant therapy
• the adult female with chest pain

and you really don't want to be under my care if you're:

• an adult male with end-stage COPD
• a female who had a diving accident
• an adult male complaining of shortness of breath
• a female patient who fractured her hip.

the neonates/pediatric test is next - i was excited to see a per-diem job offered at mary birch hospital today. they want RT's with neonatal certification. it would be nice to hold little babies again...

outta that slump - shake your rump!

it's been a good weekend.

i passed the first portion of my RRT licensing.

i received my work permit in the mail.

i also received my certificate of completion from my school. (with my last name spelled wrong, of course!)

friday night stitch took me dancing at a restaurant that plays "old school" music. the crowd was a funny mix of old people (who didn't care WHAT they looked liked on the dance floor - the most amusing...), vatos, their cholas, and then people who didn't belong to any particular group (that means us.). i have never been taken dancing in a club like that by any significant other, and it was one of the funnest things i have ever done. we were so crazy, we made other people laugh at us. he really knows how to keep up with me. my thighs are still sore. i can go up a couple steep hills on a bike and not miss a step the next day, and yet out dancing for 3 hours and i'm havin trouble goin up the stairs 2 days later. now that's a good workout..

after dancing, we drove to tyler's restaurant. i ordered a spinach, mushroom and sausage omelet, hashbrowns, english muffins, & 2 buttermilk pancakes (they were SO FREAKING GOOD!). the waitress commented on how it was a lot of food, and then stitch says, "i think she's pregnant..." i was so embarrassed because we're all dressed up, it's about 1 or 2 am, and our eyes are bloodshot. yeah, that's me, mom-to-be out in the middle of the night stuffing myself after dancing the night away. just call me britney...

ha ha. then she takes his order - the "steak for 2" plate. with a baked potato, beans, & soup. he bowed his head as i said, "huh. i think he's pregnant..." we ate so much food, the waitress must've thought we were BOTH expecting. no take home boxes were needed.

sleep was deep - waiting on the new study guide materials i've ordered for my next test, the Clinical Simulations Exam for RRT. i might head up north to see grandma and uncle dan for 5 days with the kids this week. i don't know if i'll be able to bring them up there any other time than now. this might be their last time with her. i'm struggling with a sense of urgency to start applying for jobs now that i've got my work permit and giving my kids some time with their great grandma during the last years of her life.

sigh. i wish he could go with us.

maybe next time, when i go by myself for a weekend...

listening to - "moon child" by cibo matto. i really like it. i think i got it from screg. thanks!

here a hair, there a hair, everywhere a hair hair..

i haven't had a hair cut in almost a year. of course, i pick the day before my test to go out and get a haircut. it was a nice break from studying all morning.

i went to fantastic sam's. it was the only place i could think of at the time.

as usual, the stylist was rude and made a huge fuss over the length, thickness, dryness, and curliness of my hair. she went so far as to pull up the waiting list and call the next 2 people and tell them that she is very sorry, but it is going to take AT LEAST a half hour or MORE to cut my hair.

i offered to wait for the other people and she sighed loudly and said no, she'll take me now. i said i just wanted a trim. nothing fancy. i think my exact words were, "just chop off about 2 inches and i'll be good to go."

i think she started feeling bad, because during the cut she tried to make up for it (i think) by gently chiding me for dying my own hair using drug store purchased hair color. "alicia" asked exactly where i bought my last bottles of color. i said one box was from target, two from rite aid, and one was a black bottle left over from about ten years ago...

she gasped and groaned. it was pretty funny. good thing she didn't lop a chunk of hair off accidentally from shock...

alicia tried to explain why she told the other customers they were going to wait so long - she wanted to make sure she had plenty of time to give me a good cut. yeah, whatever. you just don't to give my "cousin it" mop three times the attention you give to others for the same $16 price. her back-pedaling was terrible. i should refer her to stitch, who has that down pretty good! haha.

i then went two doors down to a beauty supply place. it's run by two sisters. the younger one, sue, is really nice and helpful. she helped me find shampoo and conditioner cheap. i'm going to try and take better care of my hair. the split ends were pretty bad. if anyone wants to check it out, it's in the terra nova shopping center right next to the einstein bagels shop.

sigh. back to work!

i'll post before and after pics later!

listening to: my kettering seminar cd's, of course!! (not! the bee gees...)