Oh No!!... What Would A.B. Do??

i'm finally getting to a place where i don't dread going to work. getting a little better at my time management, and i am grateful for stitch's input, as well as helpful pointers from coworkers. i was called off from work tonight (yay!) because the census is low. i decided to call my second job to see if they need me to come in tomorrow. gonna to go in for a day shift, which is nice because i'll actually get to see the family in the evening.

i guess it's fair to assume that everyone knows that relationships are difficult. balance between what i want/need and what he wants/needs can be near impossible at times. i think i have found the key to our relationship woes...

i am going to somehow befriend alton brown and ask him to be our relationship advisor (of course, he'll be on my side...). stitch bought 2 of alton brown's cookbooks from costco, and he has been reading them for the past couple months. i know this not because i pay good attention to what mr. man is reading in the bathroom or bedroom, but because i began to notice that when i would cook or talk about what i'm going to cook, he would start making comments about how to cut this properly or how to steam that more efficiently.

at first i thought it was cute. (note: i said WAS...) "awww! how cute! he wants to be a chef when he grows up!"

then things started to go bad...

"alton brown says that you should sift the flour before you mix blah blah blah..."

ok. i get out the sifter...

"in a food processor. blah blah better aeration blah blah lighter flakier blah blah..."

excuuuuse me??

and then there were the mumblings...

"oooohhh. so that's why my cookies didn't blah blah blah..."

"what babe? did you say something to me?"

"no. i'm just talking to (alton brown) myself... alton brown says here the reason why my cookies were blah blah blah is because i blah blah blah..."

i was already walking down the hallway, rolling my eyes. he didn't even notice that i had exited the room...

i decided the books were going to be "lost" (actually sent to paper heaven, a.k.a. the recycling plant) when stitch started giggling to himself. i guess the side notes are rather amusing...

then yesterday, unbeknownst to my dear, things came to a head. he was making some spicy peanut butter cookies and i offered to help. i washed dishes and measured ingredients. the butter needed to be at room temp. i put the frozen butter on the window sill and he had (the nerve) to say, "wow. where did you learn to do this? this is what alton says to do..."

oh. 'scuse me. i didn't realize that you two were on a first name only basis.

i said, "gee, babe. i've only been cooking since i was about five you know..."

i think he got the hint when he would asked me for advice on when to turn the cookies or how to measure the this and that when i snapped, "i don't know! ask alton brown! go look it up!! what would he do?!"

to which he snickered and left the kitchen for the computer...

to see what A.B. would do.