BATTER UP!!!

in 24 hrs and forty minutes i begin my 160 question, 3 hr state exam for respiratory therapist.

i am not as well prepared as i had hoped i'd be.

this last hour has really sucked.

i was having a pretty productive morning. spoke to a few people who cheered me up, and then i get a call from a friend who i have known for about 12 years. she is also taking the test with me tomorrow. she finished school about a year before me and has taken the test 3 times already and failed. i think she'll pass this time, because with each test, she has scored better - the last time she failed by only 3 missed questions.

we chatted about tomorrow - the test is at 1.30 pm and i want to go to a nearby starbucks and study several hours before taking the test. then she dropped a bomb on me like i have never seen... (and believe me, i have had some big-ass, ugly bombs dropped on me...)

my good friend of many years, who i respect(ed) very much has offered me 1 k to let her cheat off of me during tomorrow's test. my heart grew incredibly heavy as i realized she wasn't joking and i closed my eyes while i physically tried to get over the slamming in my chest and smooth this over without ruining our friendship.

there have been SO many times in school when i have been cheated off of. not really a big deal. i am not so uptight that i freak out if someone does it. rarely have i ever given anyone the answers to a test question. our school tests were usually either super easy, or the answers were given out to us the day before. whatever.

but now we're talking about a state given exam. if i were to get caught, my license (or potential license) would get revoked - i would NEVER be able to get my license again. i'd still owe my school the 36 k for my education and be educated in a field i'll never be able to work in.

playing an hour of "ZUMA" has alleviated some of the anxiety. i played under stitch's username, and i think he now has some of the top scores...

i'd rather never get my license because i can't pass the damn test rather than never get it because i cheated...

how do you explain that to a friend?

and to top it all off, she doesn't want to cheat off of my answers, but rather have me read the ones she can't figure out, then give her the answers! like i'm not going to have anything better to do during those 3 hrs!!

several of my classmates have already taken the test, and they all said the SAME thing - not enough time... if i manage to finish early, i really need to be going over my own answers, don'tcha think?

apparently she doesn't..