my third rotation is officially over. nights suck, but the pay kicks ass, and i find it odd that i went on to last night's shift with four hrs sleep, and i'm super wide awake. (one cup of magically delicious coffee) i have a feeling i just might pass out in lotus' car later. (we're supposed to go to this buddhist cult camp later this morning..) hopefully she will park her car in the garage so i won't cook in the daytime sun...
SURVEY SAYS!!:
trauma is drama. tonight i saw a young (model-catalog looking) couple sitting together on a gurney in one of the open aisles in the ER. he's sandy blonde wearing a white 70's tux/john travolta suit with big blue lapels. she's brunette wearing a matching white dress, the hem of the dress so short, when she sat on the gurney, the dress hitched up so high i could see her panty line between the slit. oh yeah, and her tits were about to fall out the middle of shirt. they are both crying pathetically.
HIM: "but there were like 10 police cars and like 10 ambulances there and no one could get you to wake up. and how was i supposed to feel then? what was i supposed to do then?"
HER: whimpering sounds. wipes her eyes.
HIM: "let's get going..."
they get up and head out, and word was that she drank too much and passed out cold. they looked so silly walking down the hallway to leave with those ridiculous matching outfits on, hope it was worth the 1k ambulance "cab ride" to the hospital...
i have a fast growing (as in to the expotential power) list of people who are NOT allowed to stick, poke, prod, suction, or install anything in me. which pretty much means i'm gonna have to go to the other side of the world for health care...
a 500 lb (don't leave out the 7 ounces) woman who should've had gastric bypass surgery a long long long time ago. omg the stench of the underside of her belly was nauseauting as i lifted this giant mass with both hands and then had to hold the flap up with one arm, and then PULL up ANOTHER mass with my other hand, and THEN DO THIS AGAIN just to expose the underside of her belly so it could be cleaned. she had skin ulcers and lesions everywhere. it took five of us to roll her back and forth on her bed so that we could clean her fecal matter up and change her sheets.
and one of the toppers: SHOGUN - DO NOT READ!!!
a woman whose motor cycle fell on her left leg (common incident, btw..). she was pinned and tried to pull her leg out from under the bike. she ended up dislocating her left foot AND ripping open her flesh, about 4 inches. when we came into the room to sedate her, the leg bone was NOT connected to the ankle bone, but rather jutting out through this gash. after about 15 min in the room assisting, i thought, "fucking a... it is gonna suck big, hairy elephantitis balls if i pass out in this itty-bitty room because i sure as fuck am feeling a little queasy.." at that moment one doc held her shin in place and bent her knee while the other pulled hard on her foot to realign the bones and set that puppy back in place. when the reconnection made this curious, vacuum-like, squishy sound, i knew it was over for me.
i very quietly excused myself from the room, turned left twice, went into a bathroom, locked the door, and almost passed out. sit down. felt better. ok, now worse... my, that floor looks like it really wants me to take a little nap on it. but wow, the toilet is seductively beckoning me to hurl everything in my stomach into it. the very contemplation of whether to lay on the floor and pass out, or ralph in the toilet gave me just enough distraction to get a little blood flowing, and i felt immediately better. nothin like a little shock to wake one up at two forty-five am. i actually felt a little invigorated when the blood started circulating through my head again. when i looked in the mirror, i was horrified - i was a sickly yellowish grey color.. blech.
ummm, i think i saw about ten to fifteen packages of "pork & beans" than i'd rather not have..
one baby c-sectioned. got a little light headed when the docs just aggressively cut away at mom to extract baby.
i was assisting in a retaping of an intubation tube.. the patient was totally out, but still had some reflexes. the RT who i was assisting is kind of an idiot, but he knows his RT shit. anyway, as i was retaping, the patient's hand went up in the air and towards his mouth. the RT says to the patient, "it's ok, man. she doesn't need your help. thanks anyway." i was caught off guard and had to stiffle my laugh for the rest of the taping. that was at about four am this morning, i get a little giggly when i'm tired.
and believe it or not, there are some dull moments...
4 comments:
that's a lot of "pork & beans". what happened to the "fish & chips"?
Aren't hospitals exciting!
Isn't modern medicine wonderful? Imagine those poor chaps during... say... the Civil War. If they had to amputate, all the poor soldier got was some brandy (and perhaps something to bite down on) while his comrades held him down, kicking and screaming and begging, while the doctor sawed away. How horrifying is that?
Jump 70-100 years from now. Perhaps our methods will be seen as barbaric and unbelievably crude...
I just finished listening to The Perfect Storm audio book. There was a fascinating section about what the human body goes thru when it drowns. I've been wanting to transcribe it, but haven't had the chance. What intrigued me was all the involuntary things the body will do in order to stay alive. Even though the body knows it's dying, it will still "prioritize" certain functions in order to survive longer. Absolutely fascinating.
BINGO is the point of no return... when a helicopter (not sure if other aircraft are included) no longer has enough gas to return to base. The timing of me listening to The Perfect Storm coincided with The Guardian. I enjoyed the movie much more because it had similar topics found in The Perfect Storm.
Wooop-a! Totally intense imagery, Missy. I'm just a gaggin' over the fat lady still.
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